By David (Year 8)
“Sir, they are right behind the door!”
“hold them as long as you can, if any one of them got in before the opening time then we are died.”
The man in a Stormtrooper’s helmet in the crowd outside the door said to a Wookiee next to him, “Buy the ham first and then buy the list, there’s going to be a lot of guests in the evening.”
“Which way to the shops?” it panted “we must find a shortcut.”
The door opened, the crowd stepped on the clerk’s body and rushed in.
“Happy new year, SWTOR will rise again”


that was so funny and made me lol lots
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David,
I can see you have been inspired by STAR WARS characters for your piece. Good job incorporating the challenge phrase. Your use of dialog helped to move your narration along. Keep writing.
Mrs. G., Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA
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